I was going to write funny things today, or maybe cute things or romantic things. I was going to write my stories and not this blog. And maybe I will still do this.
But I woke up to the news that Robin Williams killed himself. So I don’t feel funny or cute or romantic right now. I’m sad and I’m angry. Angry because depression is such a dick. Because it lies. Because it is so hard to fight against the lies. Because depression is like cancer – sometimes even getting all the help you can isn’t enough.
I have had several episodes of depression in my life. The first one went undiagnosed as I guess is usual. Somehow I got through it on my own. But of course it didn’t mean I was out of the woods. Depression is like an obnoxious stalker. It will always be lurking in the shadows.
So I finally got help. And help helps. But there are still days, sometimes weeks or months, when it is hard. When it is a struggle to get up in the mornings. When anxiety rushes in and kills everything else. When I don’t even remember who I am when I’m not depressed. When having faith that things will get better is the hardest thing on this planet.
But DEPRESSION LIES.
Say it with me. Depression lies. Two simple words. They can be a life-line. I know it because they have been a life-line for me. Remember them. Say them out loud as often as you need to. Depression lies.
Please take care of yourself. Do something nice for yourself. If you don’t have the energy for anything else, look at funny kitten pictures on the internet until it makes you smile.
Ivy the cat reminding you that depression lies.
Above all, please be safe.